Septiembre 22, 2003

El insidioso enigma de las salchichas

Ni siquiera los sátrapas de la patafísica se habían llegado a plantear la triste verdad que se ocultaba tras la incógnita respuesta a esa pregunta que todos nos hemos planteado desde siempre, jamás formulada por temor al ridículo filial (ya que solía manifestarse con especial vehemencia a la hora de la cena, en el fragor del arduo ejercicio que profesaban nuestras nunca bien ponderadas madres). ¿Con qué se hacen las salchichas industriales? ¿Es carne? ¿Vísceras? ¿Pellejo?

Con las llamadas salchichas caseras (que se compran, como todo el mundo sabe, en las carnicerías) no había lugar a dudas: de vez en cuando te encontrabas un tendoncillo, quizá un huesito; sabías que era carne (y si no, leches, no lo venderían en las carnicerías). Pero cuando las salchichas salían de la insolente bolsa de plástico, tan uniformes, escurriendose como si fuesen paracaidistas en misión ultrasecreta para acoplarse a tu riñón... ¿Cómo podías saber qué era lo que comías en realidad? Confiabas en la preocupación de tu madre por tu salud, te encomendabas a los leves efluvios de jamón que destilaban, quizá a los puntitos de queso fundido que contenía. Pero jamás lo supimos.

Y claro, luego hemos crecido, frustrados subconcientemente por esa horrible duda y como siempre hay, entre tanto crío con madurez disfuncional, alguno dispuesto a hacer la puta gracia, corremos el peligro de enterarnos de las verdades de la vida de una forma tan traumática como encontrárselas en Internet.

Un trauma de los gordos, oigan, ni siquiera cuando descubrí que Elvis seguía vivo y trabajaba de cocinero en un restaurante de carretera (cuyo nombre le prometí que mantendría en secreto) me impactó tanto. Y eso que no vean qué receta de callos se prepara el tío...

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Posted by germanmj at Septiembre 22, 2003 12:16 PM
Comments

Esas salchichas son la polla...

Posted by: Somófrates on Septiembre 22, 2003 10:27 PM


Hice mis prácticas en un laboratorio analizando salchichas a diario durante tres meses :(

Posted by: Srta.Vainilla on Septiembre 22, 2003 10:53 PM

Debe ser uno de esos trabajos poco gratificantes, en los que te pagan más por lo que callas que por lo que cuentas, ¿no? ;)

Posted by: Germán on Septiembre 23, 2003 01:28 AM


Yo solo aconsejaré que no coman las frankfurt.

Posted by: Srta.Vainilla on Septiembre 23, 2003 01:44 AM

Virgencita, virgencita, que me quede como estoy...

Posted by: Germán on Septiembre 23, 2003 02:20 AM

Virgencita, virgencita, que no lo haga...

Posted by: Somófrates on Septiembre 23, 2003 11:40 AM

Virgencita, virgencita, que Germancito no deje la dietecita

Posted by: Rear Window on Septiembre 24, 2003 11:19 AM

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